On Not Being Baptized

I'm the only one among my three siblings and me who hasn't been baptized.

My mom baptized my older brother and older sister when they were young. She was also planning to do so with my next older sister and me. She would remark periodically that we hadn't been baptized and that it ought to be done. However, life got in the way; people were busy; there were too many things to do. Eventually time passed and I was old enough that doing so would seem to require my consent, which I withheld. 

My next older sister has since gotten baptized and become a Christian. I'm truly glad for her. Her life has been entirely too difficult. I hope beyond anything that she finds peace through it.

I tried at various times to practice Christianity, and during those times now and then the subject of getting baptized would come up, but each time I balked; somehow it was a step too irrevocable. 

I would argue otherwise, but someone could argue convincingly that if I wasn't willing to take that step, then indeed I hadn't tried hard, not deep down in my heart, to become a Christian.

In any case, because Christianity--as beautiful as it is--is not I think the most likely account of how reality actually works--as opposed to the Religion of Numa--I'm relieved that I did not. 

Even Emperor Julian himself was baptized, by his mom.