Today was the first day of a very small, very limited novitiate I decided to do. The main task was keeping watch over a flame for thirty minutes, on behalf of the world and all its people.
As felt through guarding the flame, the world seemed so lovely & precious. I am honored to have been the keeper of the world's flame tonight. Just honored.
And even if there are no gods, it was still worthwhile, because a solemn act of devotion on the world's behalf is a worthy and lovely thing to do, and it is now locked safely in the past, where it can't be stolen. Like all our actions, good or bad--those which make us proud, those which we regret--it is permanently imprinted on time.
If you've been feeling lonely, if you've been feeling that no one cared, if you've been feeling that it's a cold and hostile universe, today that wasn't true. Someone in the world somewhere, someone out there--me--kept your flame.
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For years living abroad, I bought into the idea that I couldn't participate in, contribute to, or create my family's birthday celebrations. They're there and I'm here. How could it be otherwise? Two or three years ago, it occurred to me that I was going along with convention's dubious assumptions. From that time forward, I started having birthday parties for my family members--though custom, habitual feeling about distance as a barrier, and just plain inertia, resist. I try to take pictures and relate all the details through e-mail, Facebook, or over the phone. I hope this makes them happy. This one was for my sister. I covered up the name for the blog photo.
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I did my best today and kept all my obligations. This makes me so happy! I'm going to go to sleep and not let a single worry bother me! Much peace and love to you from far away.
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