Good

We don't have a Toastmasters club in this city. I could start one, but I don't know enough to make it work well. 

In order to participate in the club and carry out all my duties, therefore, I had to leave the house at 5:30 this morning, to go to the adjacent city. I just got back, at 10:00 tonight. I carried out my club officer duties and gave a speech. Of course it wasn't easy, but I'm completely fine.  

I am sure that earlier in my life, I would not have been able to do this. I would have been angry that there was no club in my city. I would have felt put-upon and resentful about having to go to the other city to participate, so I wouldn't have gone.  I wouldn't have had the emotional wherewithal to start a club myself. 

Studying philosophy and religion seems to have been very helpful to me. I promise nothing for the future. Only because that seems the surest way to trip oneself up. 

I don't regard this as strength. I regard it as simple avoidance of a set of self-defeating thought patterns and behaviors.