Saturday, October 4, 2014

Life is Easy--If You Want It

Life is easy--if you want it to be. Of course, there are plenty of extreme circumstances in which that might not be the case--being a war refugee, for example--but generally having never been in such extreme circumstances, I can't honestly say. I can affirm this to be true, however, for much more ordinary situations. Let me describe what happened this weekend.

Yesterday was a holiday, and my bank took the opportunity of the three-day weekend to perform some kind of upgrade on their systems. Consequently, everything was shut down. There was no ATM service. One could not withdraw money. One could not use one's card in stores or places to eat. There's usually a helpline, but that too was shutdown. 

I guess that they tried to announce the temporary shutdown in advance via text message or other means. However--perhaps because I got a new phone after opening my bank account a few years ago(?)--they didn't have my up-to-date contact information. I'm just not sure what the reason was, but, in any case, I didn't get any message in advance, and I didn't prepare by withdrawing enough cash to cover myself while the bank was offline.

Yesterday morning (Friday), I went to a neighborhood supermarket for this or that, and I tried to use my card, but it didn't work. The cashier said a message appeared on her screen that said the bank would go back online early Saturday morning (the next day), and my card would work then. I had a tiny bit of money in a different account, so I just used my other card. Everything runs like clockwork in Korea, so it never occurred to me that the bank might not be online Saturday morning as she said, and I didn't plan for it not to be. I took out most of the remaining money from my second account and used it as if I would be able to access my main account the next day.

This morning (Saturday), I went to Busan for a Toastmasters' meeting. I had a little bit of money left in my wallet, and I used that for the bus and subway fare. Before Toastmasters, I stopped by a Dunkin' Donuts and had a bagel. Never thinking twice that my regular bank card wouldn't work, I tried to pay for the bagel with it. But when the clerk tried to run it, she got a message on her screen that said my bank was still offline, and that it would be offline until eight o'clock this evening. I paid for the bagel with my other card, which left only about one dollar in that account. 

At this point, I began to think about whether I could accomplish my plans for the day and how I would get home. I didn't have enough money for regular train or bus fare. If the bank came back online at eight o'clock, that would be plenty of time. But if not, unless I borrowed money from someone, which I'm usually very reluctant to do, or unless I asked if someone would let me crash on their couch (I don't know anyone from Toastmasters that well yet), I would be stuck in Busan all night with no place to sleep. I decided to check the bank's web site, and it said they would come back online Sunday morning. 

As I walked from Dunkin' Donuts to the Toastmasters' meeting, and turning this over in my mind, and starting to feel a little anxious, this thought appeared: Now is the time to apply the things you've learned from reading Stoicism.

For once, I caught myself before emotions started to snowball. I'm grateful for this more than anything else. I was able to participate in the meeting in a happy and calm way and without being distracted at all. 

I realized after the meeting that I did actually have enough money for a 'standing ticket' on the train. This wouldn't leave me with enough money to get completely home--my place is 40 minutes by bus from the train station in my city, but at least it would get me to my city. Without access to my bank account, and not knowing exactly when the bank would come back online, the closer to home, the better.

After arriving at the train station in my city, I set out on the three-hour walk to my house. I didn't have enough money for water or for lunch, and I was very thirsty and hungry, but I was happy. The weather was gorgeous--it was bright, sunny, and windy, and I frequently stopped to take photos of the river, the flowers, the mountains in the distance, and the sky. Along the way, there is a place with giant reeds, or, 'silver grass'. They are at their finest in early fall--now--and I never would have gotten to see them had none of this happened. They looked just beautiful waving in the autumn wind under billowy clouds and blue sky. When I got into my section of the city, I saved myself several kilometers by crossing through the mountain instead of along the road. When I finally got home, I scrounged up some change for something to eat and something to drink. Boy did it taste good!

In previous eras of my life, or even this current era of my life (though much less frequently), when I don't catch myself, I would have floundered about, resentful, unhappy, and unable to think clearly, and not thinking clearly, would have made the situation far worse for myself by making decisions based on negative emotions.

The funny thing is, the whole story seems almost uneventful, and what to do stupidly obvious. However, I can't overstate the fact that things just don't turn out like this when negative emotions are in charge, thus making clear thinking impossible. Yet, having caught myself, and then having been able to create a space where clear thinking did become possible, the situation is not only resolved and over, it's even a pleasant memory.

Nothing is bad or good but thinking makes it so. Life is easy, if you want it. 

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Lovely photos from my walk home on a lovely day. 

Lovely because today, I remembered how to think properly, when it counted.



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