Impermanence

Good to try to be unlike him who performed the injury. Better not to perceive any injury.  Better still not perceive any such thing as a permanent person capable of receiving an injury. This post is not about anyone in particular. Just random thoughts.

Peace

Prayer for peace.

Praise, the Destroyer

Praise is dangerous. Reckless or immoderate praise can make even the smartest person overconfident and subsequently prone to act foolish. Well-intentioned praise then becomes an inadvertent disrupter of a person's balance and confidence; ultimately, a source of personal harm. Some people may even think praise is a duty of compassion or love. How countertuitive and disappointing life is sometimes. Too soon old, too late wise.

Your Mind's Ear

The Internet is famously poor at conveying a speaker's tone, conveyed in face-to-face communication by body language, facial cues, voice inflection, etc. Internet conflict is often laid entirely at the feet of speakers, and they are pressed to be ever-more fastidious in their comments and postings.

What's not frequently talked about is what happens on the reader's side, or what would be in face-to-face communication the listener's side. 

When reading, it would seem that the brain fills in the whole absent speaker, constructed from a few flimsy textual cues, in one's mind's ear, as if the person were actually beside you. Of course, the textual cues being far fewer in number, the speaker that the brain constructs--her emotional state, the intended force she gives to her language--is wildly prone to error. Moreover, readers also tend to display an irrational conviction that the construct they assign to a set of text--the voice, with which they think it is being conveyed--is somehow required by the textual cues--is the single one available from the given textual hints. There is then no other conclusion than that the speaker was deliberately callous, rude, arrogant, haughty, insensitive, and so forth.

Perhaps Internet mis-communication isn't completely a speaker or writer-side problem. Readers could also pay attention to how the brain constructs what's heard in the mind's ear. 

Saturday

I will try to pray more regularly to Vesta for the welfare of my family, my friends, my country, and the world. I will try to perform rites and rituals more accurately. I will also try to be wary of sincerity's power to influence others, and I will try to measure my speech accordingly. 

I called my father today and made an effort to be a good conversationalist on the phone, so he could have a enjoyable conversation to start off his Saturday. I will try to be a better daughter, and a consistent, hardworking family member. 

Once you start being a little bit reliable, you realize how much and how fast people can come to depend on you--family, friends, coworkers, etc.  People are relying on me. I will try not to let them down. 

Promiscuity & Celibacy

One can find many Internet articles on the subject of celibacy in a secular context. Many of them are anti-sex or propose celibacy as a kind of personal rebellion against the oversexualization of contemporary culture. 

I recognize that other people's truth is their own, not mine. However, I would question whether the best response to one extreme is a different extreme. Is promiscuity the proper response to a sexually restrictive culture? The true opposite of extremism of any kind would seem to be moderation. 

Perhaps more importantly, by being reactive instead of self-determining, celibacy as rebellion in a permissive culture and promiscuity as rebellion in a restrictive culture both place control of one's sexual behavior in the hands of other people. One doesn't look to one's own principles to guide oneself. One merely does the opposite of what other people are doing, whatever it might be, based on the arbitrary circumstance of having been born into the culture of a particular era. 

I am interested in practicing celibacy in a spiritual context, but not as an anti-sexual statement. It seems to me a matter of course that whatever else might be said or opined regarding the proper role of sex and sexual relationships in human life, sex itself is not inherently bad.

(Love and Learn!)

Terrible Power

Cicero, in advocating the legal cause of a brother of a priestess of Vesta, said the following:

Do not, O judges, allow the altars of the immortal gods, and of our mother Vesta, to be reminded of your tribunal by the daily lamentations of a holy virgin. Beware lest that eternal flame, which is now preserved by the nightly toils and vigils of Fonteia, should be said to have been extinguished by the tears of your priestess. A vestal virgin is stretching out towards you her suppliant hands, those same hands which she is accustomed to stretch out, on your behalf, to the immortal gods ... [T]ake care, O judges, (the dignity of the Roman people is especially concerned in this,) to show that the prayers of a vestal virgin have more influence over you than the threats of Gaul.

 (Emphasis mine.)

Bedtime Prayer

Tonight I have in mind those unusual outdoor places of simple beauty. Not Grand Canyons or Banff National Parks. Local places with small-scale natural wonders. Filtered down through the years through memory. They seem to take on the innocent and purehearted character of the era in which they were experienced.

Prayer to Vesta before bed for those places, those people, and those times. A prayer for you, too. May this day in spring 2014 find you with the contentment & peace that comes from being in a home, be it long-term or short-term.

I discovered this lovely song tonight on YouTube by Catherine MacLellan. I do so hope you will enjoy it if you should open the link.

Lawsuits & Happiness

I had some down time at work today. I was browsing through Seneca's letters on the phone, and I thought this was relevant to previous posts about being in the midst of a legal process where the outcome is uncertain. I didn't intend these posts actually to have a defendant-centered perspective. That's just how the examples came to me in real life. For that matter, I didn't intend them as exclusive to legal process at all. I was thinking of any unfinished chain of events in which one finds oneself, the ultimate direction or resolution of which is uncertain or unknown. 

This is from Letter XXIV, On Despising Death:

You write me that you are anxious about the result of a lawsuit, with which an angry opponent is threatening you; and you expect me to advise you to picture to yourself a happier issue, and to rest in the allurements of hope. Why, indeed, is it necessary to summon trouble, – which must be endured soon enough when it has once arrived, or to anticipate trouble and ruin the present through fear of the future? It is indeed foolish to be unhappy now because you may be unhappy at some future time. But I shall conduct you to peace of mind by another route: if you would put off all worry, assume that what you fear may happen will certainly happen in any event; whatever the trouble may be, measure it in your own mind, and estimate the amount of your fear. You will thus understand that what you fear is either insignificant or short-lived. And you need not spend a long time in gathering illustrations which will strengthen you; every epoch has produced them. Let your thoughts travel into any era of Roman or foreign history, and there will throng before you notable examples of high achievement or of high endeavour. If you lose this case, can anything more severe happen to you than being sent into exile or led to prison? Is there a worse fate that any man may fear than being burned or being killed? Name such penalties one by one, and mention the men who have scorned them; one does not need to hunt for them, – it is simply a matter of selection. Sentence of conviction was borne by Rutilius as if the injustice of the decision were the only thing which annoyed him. Exile was endured by Metellus with courage, by Rutilius even with gladness; for the former consented to come back only because his country called him; the latter refused to return when Sulla summoned him, – and nobody in those days said "No" to Sulla! Socrates in prison discoursed, and declined to flee when certain persons gave him the opportunity; he remained there, in order to free mankind from the fear of two most grievous things, death and imprisonment..

Three points seem salient: (1) the questionable nature of hope; (2) 'negative premeditation'--i.e., imagining the worst that could happen and preparing for it; (3) the present moment as the place happiness can exist, that ought not be destroyed by worry about uncertain future events.

Further Reflections

The previous post is about Meditations Book X, Section XI.

I'm not sure my commentary grasps the nub of Marcus Aurelius's idea. It might be that what he's getting at here isn't so much ability to accommodate oneself to inevitable change, but the bird's eye perspective over life that comes from recognizing that all things are in a constant state of transformation. 

"All things" would include (1) things you like that you don't want to go away; (2) things you don't like that you want to change; (3) things other people like that they don't wish would change; (4) things that other people don't like that they wish would change. These are beloved or disliked family relationships, friendships, professional relationships, beloved or disliked polities, one's youth, beloved or disliked features of culture, laws, the popularity of certain ideas, philosophies, or religions, the ascent or descent of one's career, souvenirs and mementos from the past that decay with time, and so on--in short, everything that exists. 

To be aware that all is in a constant state of change is amenable not to being overly attached to one's own favorite things; correspondingly not to be overly attached to disliking things that exist in opposition to one's own favorite things, and not to become overly caught up in any conflict that emerges between the two.

One can see reality and everything within it for what it is--struggling ephemera in a world whose most basic feature is impermanence. From that perspective, one is more able to approach anything with a broad mind and a sympathetic heart. 

Meditations, Book X, Section XI

Marcus Aurelius in Book X, Section XI:

To find out, and set to thyself some certain way and method of contemplation, whereby thou mayest clearly discern and represent unto thyself, the mutual change of all things, the one into the other. Bear it in thy mind evermore, and see that thou be throughly well exercised in this particular. For there is not anything more effectual to beget true magnanimity.

Rendered into simpler & more contemporary English:

To discover a way of noticing how all things change and transform into different things and keeping this in mind forever after. There is nothing else as effective for making you generous and kind.

*          *          *          *          *          *

One can see all around that a major source of harshness, cruelty, conflict and misery is inability to accommodate oneself to inevitable change and transformation--in the world, in one's own life--clinging to circumstances which, like everything else that has ever been, won't stand still. 

Snowbird

A rare glimpse of the sun at the top of a ridge 

I hiked on a snowy day last winter.

Snowbird is a song written by Canadian singer-songwriter Gene MacLellan. He recorded the song himself, but its most famous renditions may be those by Anne Murray and Crystal Gayle. MacLellan was born in the 1930s and sadly committed suicide in Prince Edward Island in 1995. All of these are sung at a fairly fast tempo, although Crystal Gayle's is slightly slower than either Gene's or Anne's. 

Gene MacLellan's daughter Catherine MacLellan is also a singer-songwriter. She has recorded a version of the song as well, much more recently, at a slower tempo. This slower version seems to capture the poignant heart of the song in a deeply moving way that the faster tempo versions obscured with more lighthearted musical features. 

Prayer

Prayer to Vesta this Wednesday evening for harmonious & tranquil relations between people, that each person has a safe home to go to, an emotional safe harbor in another or others, and the capacity in turn to be a safe harbor for others.

May I be diligent in lighting a candle each evening for people everywhere who are far from their true home in distance, in time, or through the winding turns of life. 

Sobriety & the Knowable

I deleted several posts I was dissatisfied with. The reason were triteness, lack of circumspection, and reckless specificity.

Sobriety (in the most general sense of the word) and circumspection are good.

In my last post (also deleted), I made mention of a previous employer being charged with a grave crime. I used the phrase, "old boss", which is the kind of simpler English I'm accustomed to using with non-native speakers here (they in turn use a simpler version of the local language when speaking with me). The person is the president of a company I worked for about eight years ago. She wasn't my immediate supervisor, but we did meet two or three times in the course of work, and she and we employees were in frequent communication through the intermediary of our immediate supervisor. I haven't talked to her since then, and I don't think she particularly liked me, but I'm sure she still remembers who I am. 

I was very sorry to hear this news. 

A few months ago, a woman whose son was arrested for drug possession in the United States asked me what to do. Not what to do legally, what to do, in life, as a response to these circumstances, to make them better.

I had never thought about it before and I groped around for something to say. I may have said at first, "I don't know"--because that was the honest truth.  But as I mulled it over, and we kept talking, I came to the conclusion that in situations like this, not knowing is actually the heart of the matter. You can only do what's knowable, and there's almost never one determinable grand sweeping gesture within your control that will make everything okay. It seems obvious in the saying, in a blog post. It's not so obvious to the person in the center of the situation who feels--sometimes correctly--that their whole fate may hinge on the outcome of current circumstances.

There are, however, a multitude of knowable small things that can be done. You sort these by priority, and then you plod through them as diligently as you can, on the understanding that they may add up to the big result you hope for, but always bearing in mind the possibility--even the likelihood--that it may not come to pass. You don't focus on assigning blame. That may assuage the desire to curse the malefactors which brought the present circumstances to pass, but the past is outside one's control, and focusing on it is unproductive, except perhaps insofar as it may illustrate the consequences of poor choices, and may be salutary for avoiding their repetition in the future. 

Celibacy

This Beautiful World

I have language class on Saturday afternoons. After class, I like to walk around the city shooting pictures with my cell phone camera. My pictures are not good, but it's a special time for me. There's a word I'd like to coin--"buildingglow", after "alpenglow"--when the sun has set for those of us at ground level, but it is still reflecting off the upper reaches of tall buildings. Buildingglow at sunset is a peak moment of urban beauty. Cities are humanity's works of art. 

Winter 2014 has come and gone, never to return. Spring 2014 is here. In a few short months, it will be gone, too. Sending to you all the love & peace this life has to offer on this early spring weekend.

Bedtime Prayer

Prayer to Vesta for peace in the hearts and affairs of all people in the world, and for me, that I become more compassionate and worry less about my reputation or status. 

Gentleness & Kindness

This makes me feel deficient. But I can try harder from today. An About.com writer's description of Hestia, Vesta's Greek form:

Because of Hestia's preoccupation with peace and tranquility, she was greatly respected by the Greeks - they saw her as the most deity who exemplified the most tranquility, gentleness, and kindness of all the gods. She was always fair, always committed to her beliefs, and the embodiment of the ideals of the tightly knit family in a Greek household.

Morgan v. New Sweden Irrigation District (Idaho 2014)

Facts: Canal Owner had a irrigation canal. Property Owner had land that abutted the canal. Canal Owner had an easement that ran along the banks of its canal in order to maintain it. Maintenance equipment included commercial mowers for cutting the grass along the sides of the canal. Property Owner had several structures within sixteen feet of the canal and a 35 year-old tree within eight feet of the canal. Before June 25, 2009, Canal Owner had never asked Property Owner to remove these. Property owner also had a well and a barn within twenty feet of the canal. Property Owner installed these without Canal Owner's permission. On June 25, 2009, Property Owner went to work. Canal Owner's Manager told Employee to mow the grass along the sides of the canal. Manager told Employee to stay within the easement when possible and be "way more careful" when traveling outside the easement. Employee entered Property Owner's land due to obstructions along the canal bank. He drove to the canal's edge and backed up behind the barn. He avoided the barn stairway and pipes beneath it. He left the easement to get around a tree, lifting the mower blades and mower. He knew he did not hit anything, he said, because the mower makes a different noise when it hits a solid object. While at work, Property Owner found out Canal Owner was mowing his property. He came home. He met Manager and Employee. A heated discussion ensued. Manager called the sheriff. Property Owner said at trial that the next day he had found damage to the barn stairway and that the well had lost water pressure, thus indicating damage to the pipes. Property Owner met with Canal Owner's board of directors a month later, but did not mention the damage. Property Owner also submitted a "claim for damage" form to Canal Owner, but only claimed damage to sprinklers and landscaping. 

Procedural History: Property Owner filed a claim against Canal Owner alleging negligent damage to (1) sprinklers; (2) plants; (3) outbuildings; and (4) the well. He did not mention the stairway. Canal Owner filed a counterclaim seeking (1) a declaratory judgment that it held an easement; (2) declaratory judgment regarding the easement's scope; (3) removal of all physical encroachments on the easement; and (4) an injunction barring Property Owner from restricting access to the easement. Canal Owner then moved for summary judgment, which Property Owner opposed. Property Owner filed an affidavit which said that Canal Owner had never used its mower on Property Owner's property before, and that he and a neighbor had always maintained the canal banks, but other neighbors did not. The court granted Canal Owner's claim for declaratory judgment, granted dismissal of Property Owner's claim for damage to items within the easement, denied dismissal of Property Owner's claim for damage to items outside of the easement, and denied Property Owner's motion to add a claim of declaratory relief. The court held that the easement was sixteen feet wide, removal of vegetation within the easement was reasonable, Property Owner must remove encroachments within the easement, and Canal Owner was not liable for damage to items within the easement. Property Owner filed a motion to reconsider. This was denied by the court; Property Owner's encroachments made it difficult for Canal Owner to occupy its easement. Property Owner's remaining claim on damage to items outside of the easement went to trial. Property Owner's evidence was that the well worked before Canal Owner mowed the property, but did not work afterwards. A broken joint was discovered several meters underground, but it lacked rust (indicating that it did not break of its own accord). The court held that Canal Owner did not breach its duty of care to Property Owner outside of the easement, res ipsa loquitur did not apply, and if comparative negligence applied, Property Owner was at least as negligent as Canal Owner. Property Owner appealed.

Holding: Affirmed; remanded to trial court for fact finding on where easement begins. 

The district court properly granted summary judgment to Canal Owner on the scope of the easement. Summary judgment is granted when there is no genuine issue of material fact and the moving party is entitled to judgment as a matter of law. All reasonable inferences are drawn in favor of the non-moving party. An easement is a right to use another's land for a specific purpose. Canal Owner is the "dominant estate holder"; Property Owner possesses the "servient estate". The Idaho statute section on irrigation canal easements states that their width is the width necessary to maintain the sides of the canal with equipment commonly used for that purpose. Manager gave evidence that sixteen feet was needed because of the size of the mower they used and that was commonly used for other canals. Property Owner's only evidence was that maintenance wasn't "necessary" as described by the statute because he maintained the area along the canal himself. However, the district court erred by not specifying where the sixteen feet begins (top of canal bank? high water mark?).

The district court properly concluded that Property Owner must remove all encroachments. A servient estate owner may not encroach on an easement in a way that unreasonably interferes with the privileges granted by the easement. The easement owner has the burden of showing unreasonable interference. Property Owner says previous to June 2009, Canal Owner had never used heavy equipment to maintain canal, therefore Property Owner's encroachments could not be said to have "unreasonably interfered" with Canal Owner's use of the easement. But Canal Owner's use of the mower, even if for the first time in June 2009, says otherwise. Canal Owner presented unrebutted evidence that it needed sixteen feet for its most commonly-used mower.

The district court did not abuse its discretion in awarding judgment to Canal Owner on the sole issue that went to trial--damage to items outside of the easement. Negligence requires (1) a legal duty to conform to a standard of conduct; (2) breach of that duty; (3) causation between conduct and injury; (4) actual loss or damage. Property Owner argues that district court erred in finding that Canal Owner did not breach its duty and that Property Owner hadn't provided sufficient evidence of causation. Res ipsa loquitur applies when the plaintiff establishes two elements: (1) defendant exclusively controls the instrumentality that causes the injury; (2) the circumstances permit the average layperson to infer that the instrumentality caused the injury. The plaintiff must eliminate other potential causes, as well. Here, Property Owner did not eliminate possible other causes. The well and stairway were several decades old and could have become damaged or broken in other ways. Therefore, res ipsa loquitur does not apply. The district court denied Property Owner's expert testimony because it was disclosed past the discovery deadline, which meant that, if accepted, Canal Owner wouldn't have had time to prepare for trial. The district court also found that Canal Owner's direct evidence of no causation outweighed Property Owner's circumstantial evidence of causation, which was within its discretion.

The case can be read in full on the Idaho Supreme Court's website, here. 

Character vs. Reputation

I first encountered this quote as a Facebook meme, but one that stood out as enshrining a particularly useful but counterintuitive truth. I probably don't have the exact wording right, but this is the substance of it:

Worry more about your character than your reputation because your character is who you really are but your reputation is just who people think you are. 

The Internet attributes this quote--as it usually does--to more than one person, but the most frequent attribution is to John Wooden, a basketball coach.

Stoic analysis is useful here. There is a trap one can fall into whereby one can think of reputation as being the sum of one's character. This positions your identity outside of yourself, outside of your control. You may tend to it lovingly, the way a gardener does a flower garden, but there's nothing to stop the errant soccer ball from bouncing into it and crushing the plants therein, or the neighborhood dog from relieving himself on or in it. There is nothing even to stop someone from destroying it out of malice or ill will. You could stand guard by it night and day, but that would mean consuming all of one's life energy in the task, leaving you less time for the functions of life, less time to work and love. And even all your watchful guarding won't prevent plant disease, hail, or a number of other factors from eroding it. 

Worst of all, jealously guarding it as you are, you may come to see life one-dimensionally; you may do harm to others and engage in ugly behavior all in the interest of protecting it. In other words, you may lose your character in your attempt to preserve it, mistaken, as you are, in conceiving of it as reputation.   

Worry more about your character than your reputation. This is indeed a deep and important truth. Thank you, John Wooden. 

Candles May Be a Dangerous Source of Indoor Air Pollution

I've been lighting candles at home, as part of prayer. They create a wholly different atmosphere. 

I've seen candles used to awe-inspiring effect in Protestant church services (everyone holding a candle on Christmas Eve and singing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing") and Buddhist temple services (lit candles at regularly-spaced intervals along the altar while chanting the "Three Jewels" and the "Heart Sutra").

But, are candles safe--are they a source of indoor air pollution? This article say that there are potentially threatening information fails in the manufacture and supply chain and that even candles alleged to be safe haven't actually shown to be so. Certain churches and temples may be airy and spacious enough to mitigate the threat of inhaling pollutants, but else-wise?

In the absence of further qualifying information, not breathing smoke created by a burning substance of any kind would seem to be the wiser, though disappointing course. 

Line Drawing of Vesta from Bible History Online

A line drawing of Vesta, from Bible History Online, which gives permission to reprint images for non-commecial use. 

Hospitality of the Human Heart

The Coca Cola security cameras commercial.

Chastity in Hinduism

An article from a site called, Hinduism Today, about the chastity of a deity in Hinduism and the spiritual benefits for practitioners of chastity within a Hindu context:

"The subject of brahmacharya is as intrinsic to this conference as oil is to a lamp. It is all too important a subject, and its omission or neglect at a conference of this nature would do grave injustice to a figure like Sri Hanuman. Scripturally and traditionally speaking, Sri Hanuman is always eulogized as an eternal brahmacharin. A brahmacharin is one who controls his senses in order to reach Brahman or the Supreme Being. At a more common level of definition, a brahmacharin is one who controls his passions or sex instincts and transmutes or sublimates these thoughts and energies into resources that are capable of giving him the highest realization of God. In the case of Sri Hanuman, He is not a spiritual aspirant striving to practice brahmacharya. He has already attained mastery in this field. He epitomizes excellence and the ultimate maturity in brahmacharya. It gives us the necessary purity which is the basis of spiritual life. No impure person can be spiritual."

The World Doesn't Stop

The terminally ill describe the moment after learning of the diagnosis, the insistent feeling that the world should stop. 

But the traffic keeps to its same patterns. The regular sound of engines being shifted to higher speed when the light changes. The regular sound of trucks and buses braking.

The clouds float along at an even pace. Sometimes puffy cumulus clouds in a blue sky. Sometimes overcast; a plain gray sky.

The news carries the same stories as thirty years before, this time with different particular actors. Similar patterns playing out. Similar events.

There's an indifferent inhospitable sameness about everything, life's inertia of convention and everyday, a yawning gulf of lonely coldness no one except those facing impending death can imagine.

For the terminally ill around whom the world doesn't stop, I pray to Vesta. 

Srebrenica

For the victims of the 1995 Srebrenica massacre. Wish you were here.

Pray for peace.

Answered Prayers

I prayed and made an offering to Vesta. My prayers were answered. I'm a natural skeptic. A little bit I believe it; mostly, I don't.

Still, prayer & piety seem purehearted to me. So, I like them.

Vesta is about purity and forgiveness. If not forgiveness, then a kind of clemency and hospitality of the heart that says, I won't condemn you; you're safe with me. Based on personal experiences, I crave these things.

I don't want to get carried away, but I will try to be more pious and less lazy about prayer.

I called my parents and told them I was trying to live every day in a way that would make them proud. I hope this made them smile.

This

"Can't find a nice person? Then be one."

Bedtime Prayers

Bedtime prayer said and offering made. Now it's time to sleep.

A video of actor John Gielgud reading The Garden of Proserpine.

The Garden of Proserpine

From too much love of living, / From hope and fear set free, / We thank with brief thanksgiving / Whatever gods may be / That no life lives for ever; / That dead men rise up never; / That even the weariest river / Winds somewhere safe to sea.

This is one of the most beautiful poems I've read in a long time. It's about Proserpine. 

Proserpine was the daughter of Ceres. She lived in a pastoral place of eternal spring. Venus, remarking to Cupid that a haughty, impudent few--gods and humans--lived outside she and Cupid's domain of romantic love, provoked Cupid to shoot an arrow into Pluto's heart, upon which Pluto seized Proserpine, and took her to the underworld as his wife. Ceres searched and grieved, and searched and grieved, till finally it was discovered what had happened. Ceres demanded Proserpine's release; a compromise was reached: Proserpine would stay in the underworld six months of the year, with Pluto (i.e., winter); she would stay above, with Ceres, for the other half of the year (i.e., summer). 

Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837 - 1909) blossomed forth with this poem in 1866:

Here, where the world is quiet,

Here, where all trouble seems

Dead winds' and spent waves' riot

In doubtful dreams of dreams;

I watch the green field growing

For reaping folk and sowing,

For harvest-time and mowing,

A sleepy world of streams.

I am tired of tears and laughter,

And men that laugh and weep

Of what may come hereafter

For men that sow to reap:

I am weary of days and hours,

Blown buds of barren flowers,

Desires and dreams and powers

And everything but sleep.

Here life has death for neighbour,

And far from eye or ear

Wan waves and wet winds labour,

Weak ships and spirits steer;

They drive adrift, and whither

They wot not who make thither;

But no such winds blow hither,

And no such things grow here.

No growth of moor or coppice,

No heather-flower or vine,

But bloomless buds of poppies,

Green grapes of Proserpine,

Pale beds of blowing rushes

Where no leaf blooms or blushes,

Save this whereout she crushes

For dead men deadly wine.

Pale, without name or number,

In fruitless fields of corn,

They bow themselves and slumber

All night till light is born;

And like a soul belated,

In hell and heaven unmated,

By cloud and mist abated

Comes out of darkness morn.

Though one were strong as seven,

He too with death shall dwell,

Nor wake with wings in heaven,

Nor weep for pains in hell;

Though one were fair as roses,

His beauty clouds and closes;

And well though love reposes,

In the end it is not well.

Pale, beyond porch and portal,

Crowned with calm leaves she stands

Who gathers all things mortal

With cold immortal hands;

Her languid lips are sweeter

Than love's who fears to greet her

To men that mix and meet her

From many times and lands.

She waits for each and other,

She waits for all men born;

Forgets the earth her mother,

The life of fruits and corn;

And spring and seed and swallow

Take wing for her and follow

Where summer song rings hollow

And flowers are put to scorn.

There go the loves that wither,

The old loves with wearier wings;

And all dead years draw thither,

And all disastrous things;

Dead dreams of days forsaken,

Blind buds that snows have shaken,

Wild leaves that winds have taken,

Red strays of ruined springs.

We are not sure of sorrow,

And joy was never sure;

To-day will die to-morrow;

Time stoops to no man's lure;

And love, grown faint and fretful,

With lips but half regretful

Sighs, and with eyes forgetful

Weeps that no loves endure.

From too much love of living,

From hope and fear set free,

We thank with brief thanksgiving

Whatever gods may be

That no life lives for ever;

That dead men rise up never;

That even the weariest river

Winds somewhere safe to sea.

Then star nor sun shall waken,

Nor any change of light:

Nor sound of waters shaken,

Nor any sound or sight:

Nor wintry leaves nor vernal,

Nor days nor things diurnal;

Only the sleep eternal

In an eternal night.

Soot Sprites

A video showing soot sprites, from the films of Studio Ghibli.

Dusty detritus of a life long since over, a life lived in a bygone era: A framed diploma with too-regal calligraphy, disproportionately ornate by contemporary sensibilities; nineteenth century books with inlaid covers. A weathered barn with warped gray wall-boards, deformed by temperature and wetness, now misaligned with one another; the wind being channeled through them, a haunting sound--a spiritual radio tuned into the past, faint signals barely audible through the loud static of all-consuming now-ness. 

There is a charming tender humaneness about things.

People should be wary when entering old barns. Hantavirus has been transmitted through exposure to the dust inside them. 

Untitled

Time is passing. The merry-go-round of life. If there were only some way to catch hold of life's poignance as it goes by, but even that slips through your fingers.

Prayer to Vesta for this world on this 14th day of March 2014.

Staying at Your Post

From the 1834 novel The Last Days of Pompeii by Edward Bulwer-Lytton:

The air was now still for a few minutes: the lamp from the gate streamed out far and clear: the fugitives hurried on—they gained the gate—they passed by the Roman sentry; the lightning flashed over his livid face and polished helmet, but his stern features were composed even in their awe! He remained erect and motionless at his post. That hour itself had not animated the machine of the ruthless majesty of Rome into the reasoning and self-acting man. There he stood, amidst the crashing elements: he had not received the permission to desert his station and escape.

This passage was the inspiration for this painting. 

I admire this very much. I'm a little awestruck by it. That said, you can catch a whiff of the worst of what's described in All Quiet on the Western Front. So, I reserve judgment.  

(On the other hand, if it's not Mount Vesuvius or the Somme, you might just try staying at your post!)

Baby Fox

A week ago, a story appeared in my Facebook feed, posted by an animal anti-cruelty group that a baby fox had been found in country X, in some random location, skinned alive. The fox was still alive when it was found. They rushed it to a vet, but it died after they reached the vet's office. 

I don't know if this specific story is true--I'm not going to try to verify it with Google--but it is certainly the kind of thing humans do quite frequently, so I would guess that more likely than not, it is true.

What could be more tragic than to be born happily into this world intact with all the promise that life offers and all that buoyant happiness that babies possess then to be skinned alive by a bigger, stronger creature?

The suffering is almost unimaginable, and almost silent and voiceless, too, but for a few people that told the baby fox's story. If a baby fox cries out to the universe in all its physical and existential pain, does the universe listen?   

How We Bounce Back

This is an interesting panel discussion on the science of resilience. I am only halfway through it. I post this as a kind of bookmark for myself, since I'm not done watching it.

Fun Video on Resilience

A fun, short video on resilience.

To Worship the Elements

Religious conflict feels unholy to me. That is to say untrue and disrespectful, in my gut, prior and anterior to any religious labels I would adopt for myself or argue in favor of. 

Debate itself isn't conflict, and to confuse debate with conflict can undermine loving, level-headed, fruitful dialogue. Yet, caution, circumspection, and compassion ought remain paramount in exchanges that touch the core of identity, loyalty, and the things to which humans attach their deepest hopes and allegiances. To keep them so allows us to reach a higher potential as human beings. 

In that spirit, I deleted the interview in the previous post because it was more academic in style and didn't match the compassion-centered style I hope to characterize this blog. I also offer this prayer before getting to the substance of this post:

Prayer to Mother Vesta for the well-being of all Christians, in the past, present, and future, of all places, that they may have had, have, or will have peace and rest in their hearts, physical well being, from birth to death, and that they have been, are, or will be received by others with compassion and friendliness. May this blog always be, and may I always be, a safe harbor for Christians.

In the previous post on Saint Daria, Crisaunt first says paganism is idolatry. Daria responds that paganism is worship of the personified elements. Crisaunt offers an argument against this in return, that the earth gives to the farmer, but not to the supplicant who regards the earth as a deity. Daria finds this persuasive and converts to Christianity. 

Emperor Julian, in his writings, offers a kind of rebuttal to Crisaunt's argument in a letter apparently to Christians in Alexandria, Egypt:

The particular favors conferred on your city by the Olympic gods were, in short, such as these. Many more, not to be prolix, I omit. But those blessings which the apparent gods bestow in common every day, not on one family, nor on a single city, but on the whole world, why do you not acknowledge? Are you alone insensible of the sun? Are you alone ignorant that summer and winter are produced by him, and that all things are alone vivified and alone germinate from him? Do you not, also, perceive the great advantages that accrue to your city from the moon, from him and by him the fabricator of all things? Yet you dare not worship either of these deities; but [...], whom neither you nor your fathers have seen, you think must necessarily be God the word, while him, whom from eternity every generation of mankind has seen, and see and venerates, and by venerating lives happily, I mean the mighty sun, a living animated intellectual, and beneficent image of the intelligible Father, you despise. If, however, you listen to my admonitions, you will by degrees return to the truth. You will not wander from the right path, if you will be guided by him, who to the twentieth year of his age pursued that road, but has now worshiped the gods for near twelve years. 

From, Arguments of Celsus, Porphyry, and The Emperor Julian, Against the Christians, by Thomas Taylor, pages 39, 40, published in 1830.

Emperor Julian was raised to be Christian by his mother, but converted to neo-platonic paganism as an adult. 'Prolix' is the antonym of 'brief' or 'concise'.  

This view comports with my own sense of reality, that things within it have a holy--if not unambiguously divine--nature about them, and that whatever supernature there is would be at least closely identified with material reality, somehow forming a coherent whole, not entirely separate and distinct from it, like a crab temporarily inhabiting a shell. 

Saint Daria

Saint Daria with guarding lion. 

(An image from Wikimedia Commons)

The story of Saint Daria, from a popular medieval martyrology, The Golden Legend, or, the Lives of Saints, by Jacobus de Voragine, Archbishop of Genoa, issued in 1260. I got it from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library, which has a note permitting the republishing in plain text of content found on their site. A Fordham University site says the book was first published in English by William Caxton in 1483, which is the version below, with text modernized in 1900. In other renditions of the story, Daria is a priestess of Minerva. In another, she is a priestess of Athena. 

Crisaunt was son of a right noble man that was named Polimius. When the father saw that his son was taught in the faith of Jesu Christ, and that he could not withdraw him therefrom and make him do sacrifice unto the idols, he commanded that he should be closed in a stronghold, and put to him five maidens for to withdraw him with blandishing and fair words. And then he prayed God that he should not be surmounted with no fleshly desire of these evil beasts, and anon these maidens were so overcome with sleep that they might not take neither meat nor drink as long as they were there, but as soon as they were out they took both meat and drink. And one, Daria, a noble and wise virgin of the goddess Vesta, arrayed her nobly with clothes as she had been a goddess, and prayed that she might be let enter in to Crisaunt, and that she would restore him to the idols and to his father. And when she was come in, Crisaunt reproved her of the pride of her vesture, and she answered that she had not done it for pride, but for to draw him to do sacrifice to the idols, and restore him to his father. And then Crisaunt reproved her because she worshipped them as gods, for they had been in their time evil and sinners, and haunted common women. And Daria answered: The philosophers felt the elements by the names of men. And Crisaunt said to her: If one worship the earth as a goddess, and another ear and labour the earth as a churl or a ploughman, to whom giveth the earth most? It is proved that it giveth more to the ploughman than to him that worshippeth it. And in like wise he said of the sea, and of other elements. And then Crisaunt and Daria, converted of him, coupled them together by the grace of the Holy Ghost, and feigned to be joined by carnal marriage, and converted many others to our Lord. For Claudius, which had been tormentor of them, they converted to the faith of our Lord, with his wife and children, and many other knights. After this, Crisaunt was enclosed in a stinking prison by the commandment of Numerianus, but the stench was anon turned into a right sweet odour and savour. And Daria was brought to the bordel, but a lion that was in the amphitheatre came and kept the door of the bordel. And then there was sent thither a man to deflower and corrupt the virgin, but anon he was taken of the lion, and the lion began to look on the virgin like as he demanded what he should do with the caitiff. And the virgin commanded that he should not misdo him, but let him go, and anon he was converted, and ran through the city, and began to cry that Daria was a goddess. And then hunters were sent thither for to take the lion, and they anon fell down to the feet of the virgin and were converted by her. And then the provost commanded to make a great fire within the entry of the bordel, so that the lion should be burnt with Daria, and the lion considering well this thing, dread, and roaring took licence of the virgin and went whither he would without hurting of anybody. And when the provost had done to Crisaunt and Daria many diverse torments, and might not grieve them, at the last, they being married without corruption, were put in a deep pit, and thrown on them earth and stones, and so were consecrated martyrs of Christ. 

Sin

In the post below, when I rendered the older translation into contemporary English, I substituted transgression for sin. 

Sin in modern English is strongly identified with a Christian worldview, in which I'm sure there is a lot of merit, but that is not what I understand Marcus Aurelius to be making reference to. There is of course the original Latin, which does indeed use the word sin; however, this is not helpful. The question is not translation. Sin in pre-Christian Latin can't be imputed as having a Christian worldview merely because it does so in contemporary English. The question is, what did the word mean to Marcus Aurelius as a Stoic in the second century Roman Empire? 

(Consider the slippery world of word usage: 'Genius' seems to have been used at least from the Elizabethan era into the nineteenth century as a metaphor drawn from Roman religion, to mean the animating spirit of person or place. This usage has disappeared entirely and the word is now restricted to 'prodigy', 'rare intellectual ability' and like meanings.)

This got me thinking about the differences between the worldview of Marcus Aurelius, as revealed in Meditations and that of Christianity, to the extent I understand the two of them. There is a level of abstraction on which all systems of thought converge. I don't mean that; I mean, on the plane of specifics. 

In the following, I use 'Stoicism' as shorthand for the individual viewpoint of Marcus Aurelius, as expressed in Meditations. I attempt to compare neutrally. 

1. The divine. In Christianity, God is a god of infinite love and omnipotence, but also of lawgiving and final judgment. In Stoicism, it is ultimately unknown if the gods exist or to what extent they have power to affect events, but if they do exist, they are most likely beings of greater forgiveness, tolerance, and nonjudgment. If the gods are evil, they should not be followed or worshiped. 

2. Salvation (i.e., life after death).  In Christianity, Jesus Christ is the medium between an irreconcilably sinful and rebellious human spirit and the perfect divine. Salvation depends on availing oneself of the medium. In Stoicism, there isn't a medium; if the gods and souls exist, salvation is simply through the gods' greater virtues, in spite of individual human failings. 

3. Sin. In Christianity, sin has a fixed reality. Subjective perception has a role to play in promoting understanding in human relations, but not to undermine God's law, the source of morality. The practical implications of the Christian worldview are that one should eschew sin because of God. In Stoicism, virtue and morality do not derive from the gods. Sin exists relatively, but it is a matter of subjective perspective. The practical implications of the existence or nonexistence of the gods are nearly identical--one should live a virtuous life.

I have an opinion about which one is correct, but I will omit my conclusions. I don't see how this would be a virtue for me if I went about advancing my favorite system of thought and telling other people that theirs is wrong. There are many systems of thought and there have been for a long time. This is just how the world works.   

Meditations, Book IX, Section XL (Section Forty)

Brilliant.

As translated:

When at any time thou art offended with any one's impudency, put presently this question to thyself: 'What? Is it then possible, that there should not be any impudent men in the world! Certainly it is not possible.' Desire not then that which is impossible. For this one, (thou must think) whosoever he be, is one of those impudent ones, that the world cannot be without. So of the subtile and crafty, so of the perfidious, so of every one that offendeth, must thou ever be ready to reason with thyself. For whilst in general thou dost thus reason with thyself, that the kind of them must needs be in the world, thou wilt be the better able to use meekness towards every particular. This also thou shalt find of very good use, upon every such occasion, presently to consider with thyself, what proper virtue nature hath furnished man with, against such a vice, or to encounter with a disposition vicious in this kind. As for example, against the unthankful, it hath given goodness and meekness, as an antidote, and so against another vicious in another kind some other peculiar faculty. And generally, is it not in thy power to instruct him better, that is in an error? For whosoever sinneth, doth in that decline from his purposed end, and is certainly deceived, And again, what art thou the worse for his sin? For thou shalt not find that any one of these, against whom thou art incensed, hath in very deed done anything whereby thy mind (the only true subject of thy hurt and evil) can be made worse than it was. And what a matter of either grief or wonder is this, if he that is unlearned, do the deeds of one that is unlearned? Should not thou rather blame thyself, who, when upon very good grounds of reason, thou mightst have thought it very probable, that such a thing would by such a one be committed, didst not only not foresee it, but moreover dost wonder at it, that such a thing should be. But then especially, when thou dost find fault with either an unthankful, or a false man, must thou reflect upon thyself. For without all question, thou thyself art much in fault, if either of one that were of such a disposition, thou didst expect that he should be true unto thee: or when unto any thou didst a good turn, thou didst not there bound thy thoughts, as one that had obtained his end; nor didst not think that from the action itself thou hadst received a full reward of the good that thou hadst done. For what wouldst thou have more? Unto him that is a man, thou hast done a good turn: doth not that suffice thee? What thy nature required, that hast thou done. Must thou be rewarded for it? As if either the eye for that it seeth, or the feet that they go, should require satisfaction. For as these being by nature appointed for such an use, can challenge no more, than that they may work according to their natural constitution: so man being born to do good unto others whensoever he doth a real good unto any by helping them out of error; or though but in middle things, as in matter of wealth, life, preferment, and the like, doth help to further their desires he doth that for which he was made, and therefore can require no more.

Rendered into contemporary English:

When you are offended by anyone's forwardness, ask yourself this: Is it possible for the world not to have any forward people? Certainly it is not possible. So don't wish for something that's impossible. The forward person you encountered is just one of those people that by necessity exist in the world. So too with backstabbers, deceitful people, and the whole range of people who offend you, you have to ask yourself the same question. If you reason with yourself this way generally, you'll be ready in particular instances to greet them with meekness. It is also useful to consider what virtues nature has furnished to humankind to encounter such offensive qualities. Against ingratitude there is the antidote of goodness and meekness, and against every other kind of viciousness there is also a good quality. Is it not in your power to show the person how they made a mistake? Anyone who transgresses strays from their own natural purpose, and is deceived. And how are you worse off because of another person's transgression? No one can make your mind (the only true thing that can be hurt) worse than it was. Why should you be upset or surprised if an ignorant person acts ignorant? Shouldn't you instead blame yourself, when you could easily have understood its likelihood, not only for not having foreseen it, but also for having been surprised by it? Especially when you find fault with a deceitful or unthankful person, you have to reflect on yourself. For you are at fault, too, if you expected a person like that to be honest; or when you did a favor for someone, that you didn't restrain yourself from having expectations about it or didn't consider your doing of the favor to be enough by itself. What more do you want? Isn't it sufficient just to do good to another person? What nature required, you did. Do you need a reward? Does your eye need a reward for seeing, or your feet for walking? Just as eyes and feet don't ask more than to perform their natural function, so people being born to do good to others, when they do so in large matters or small, are doing what they were made to do. 

Meditations, Book IX, Section XXXV

Meditations, Book IX, Section XXXV: 

Will this querulousness, this murmuring, this complaining, and dissembling never be at an end? What then is it, that troubleth thee? Doth any new thing happen unto thee? What doest thou so wonder at? At the cause, or the matter? Behold either by itself, is either of that weight and moment indeed? And besides these, there is not anything. But thy duty towards the Gods also, it is time thou shouldst acquit thyself of it with more goodness and simplicity.

Rendered into contemporary English:

Will this argumentativeness, this griping, this complaining, and misrepresenting never end? What bothers you so much? Does anything actually novel or new happen to you? What makes you overreact? Because of it? Because of the cause of it? Is either the thing itself or the cause worthy of such overreaction? This aside, what is there in life that has any substance in it? It is time that you conducted your religious duties toward the gods with more goodness and simplicity. 

Well, agreed.

I got some stress recently. For a moment, I thought that I had failed in one of my responsibilities. I felt sick at my stomach. I shouldn't feel this way. It's important to do what's best for the situation, and not be emotional, even if it arises from your own mistake. Everything seems to be okay now, but I am utterly exhausted from not being able to sleep for worrying so much over the course of two days. 

The Asteroid Vesta

This is a charming news clip describing NASA's Dawn mission to the asteroid Vesta. Dawn is said to have remained in orbit around Vesta for a period of a year. 

Vesta has an enormous crater-basin at its south pole named Rhea Silvia. The crater overlays another enormous crater-basin from a previous impact (though smaller).  This article from space.com contains a video which says that instead of being random conglomerate of floating rock, Vesta has a planet-like layered interior, a "differentiated core". The article also contains an introduction to Vesta's features and a short history about its discovery. 

The image is apparently from JPL and not copyrighted. If it is copyrighted, I will immediately remove it. 

New Books

I went to the bookstore today. I got Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and Tales from Ovid by Ted Hughes. They're both used books but Tales from Ovid is in virtually new condition and Fahrenheit 451 is in pristine condition. Perhaps it was a new copy that couldn't be sold somewhere and so ended up at the used bookstore. It hasn't the slightest discoloration, fingerprint, bend, fold, or wrinkle. It even smells new. 

Wish me enjoyable reading! 

The Sacred Lake: Received Infrastructure vs. Bestowed Meaning

In E.M. Forster's A Room with a View, there is a pond near Lucy and Freddy Honeychurch's childhood home that Lucy reveals they had named, as children, the "Sacred Lake". In the progress of the story, the lake functions as a kind of symbolic barometer of spiritual health. When Freddy, George Emerson, and Mr. Beebe decide to swim there, in good spirits, good cheer, and a kind of lovely unaffected camaraderie, the lake is in full boom and at its most beautiful:

They climbed down a slippery bank of pine-needles. There lay the pond, set in its little alp of green -- only a pond, but large enough to contain the human body, and pure enough to reflect the sky. On account of the rains, the water had flooded the surrounding grass, which showed like a beautiful emerald path, tempting feet towards the central pool. [...] How glorious it was! The world of motor-cars ... receded illimitably. Water, sky, evergreens, a wind -- these things not even the seasons can touch, and surely they lie beyond the intrusions of man?

When Lucy is engaged to Cecil, that is to say, when artificiality and self-deception are at their height, the lake is shallow and sick:

Presently they came to a little clearing among the pines -- another tiny green alp, solitary this time, and holding in its bosom a shallow pool. She exclaimed, "The Sacred Lake!" "Why do you call it that?" "I can't remember why. I suppose it comes out of some book. It's only a puddle now, but you see that stream going through it? Well, a good deal of water comes down after the heavy rains, and can't get away at once, and the pool becomes quite large and beautiful."

Received social infrastructures--the ones we're born into--nations, religious organizations, other patterns of people, whether organically emergent or consciously organized, can create a sense of legitimacy around the assignment of meaning by weight of their popularity, length of history, shared belief in their institutional validity, and so on. It might be more accurate to say 'identification' of meaning; or, 'identification and assignment' of meaning--we are after all observer-participants in life, not just observers, and not just participants. 

The legitimacy isn't any the less authentic for exploring how it usually works. Yet, as A Room with a View shows, individuals can identify or assign meaning to things on their own initiative, from their own perspective on life, without passively depending on some pre-existing or larger pattern of people to do it for them, or thinking that such larger or historical organizations have acquired the exclusive right to do so by virtue of their historical weight or validity. And with the passage of time, when looked back upon, especially if done with charm, humanity, and sincerity, and not tainted by anything impure, nor an oppresively heavy seriousness--it should be fun!--such individually-bestowed or individually-identified meanings can acquire a legitimacy and loveliness about them as great as any institution could confer. 

On Not Following Your Own Principles - Note to Myself

A set of principles isn't an identity badge to wear showily. Someone who adopts a set of principles not to practice them but merely to identify themselves with the system of thought they find attractive, to participate in a group identity associated with things they like or are familiar with, to attach themselves--teen-ager-like--to the aura of something cool, might be described as an admirer of its principles, but can't--in truth--properly be described as a practitioner thereof, self-mislabeling notwithstanding. 

Don't be that person. If you really think it's true, if you aren't kidding yourself about the extent of its genuine value, then practice it. 

Of course, one may find limited value in a set of principles, or regard them as being partially true, or as having an unspecified degree of truth in them. That's certainly reasonable. But then such a person should honestly admit to such both to herself or himself and to others and should engage in truth in self-labeling. 

A Room with a View - 2007 Production

This is a 2007 production of A Room with a View. Many people seem to have preferred the 1985 film.