Terms Losing Coherence

The words 'material', 'transcend', and 'divine' make sense when conceiving of a world with a creator god and his created reality. To transcend is to transcend the creation of the creator god to be united with him in some fashion. Materialism's dispute with creationism (in the broadest sense of the term) could be described as a difference regarding the hardness of reality:

Creationism: Material reality is real but it's not real real. In other words, it's real, but it's not the most fundamental level of reality, which is god.

Materialism: Material reality is real real. Material reality is the most fundamental level of reality, not god. Or, it emerges from a somethingness which is the most fundamental level of reality.

However, in my 'relativity of realness' way of thinking, the terms 'material', 'transcend', and 'divine' start to lose coherence. 

Devotional Song to Ganesh

I was procrastinating studying this morning and I ended up listening to a devotional song to Ganesh. These appear to be a translation of the song's lyrics.

I was wondering what Roman deity was the equivalent of Ganesh. I would guess Minerva. But I didn't find any authoritative-looking sources saying this. What I found instead was discussion about the nature of Hinduism--whether it can be properly considered polytheism or not. Some said it was polytheistic. Some said it was monotheistic. Others said it was something else. 

The most lucid summary of the discussion was here, by Rick Walston, associated with an organization called Columbia Seminary. He explains religious taxonomy plainly and straightforwardly and comes to measured conclusions about how Hinduism can be classified.

To me--no one has to agree with me--but, to me, most of the types described by Professor Walston require belief in assertions that extend beyond what's knowable. Is the separateness of the seven billion human consciousnesses an illusion that masks the fact that we are all manifestations of some deeper unitary consciousness? Or, from a material perspective, is there a deeper unity from the fact that we are all consciousnesses that emerge from the same star stuff? Maybe most importantly--what makes people so sure that the most fundamental level of reality is somethingness rather than nothingness? (And by the same token, vice versa?) 

These are all worth thinking about, but because they are ultimately unknowable, it seems excessive to have firm or rigid beliefs about them (and especially excessive to get angry about them!) For purposes of compassion, it is important to remember my relatedness to other members of the human race, but that doesn't mean that I ordinarily think of myself as merely an aspect of a single organism called humanity. Moreover, just as you can't privilege one body in space as being "stationary" and another body as being "in motion" it is not clear that you can privilege one part of reality with greater 'realness' than another part of reality. You don't ascribe greater 'realness' or 'independence of existence' to parents than their children, though the children are clearly derived from their parents. Similarly, on what basis do you privilege star stuff with greater reality than the people or consciousnesses that seem to emerge from it? If there were a deeper, unitary consciousness, based on what reference point would it be 'realer'? Again, I don't mean that people who believe in such things are necessarily wrong. I only mean that it's not knowable.

So, I start from what is ascertainable, which is--to me--that people, animals, things (all nouns?)--have a certain divine quality about them (a mystical quality about them even when thought of as purely material), and there are no knowable grounds for asserting that this divine aspect comes out of some deeper underlying unity.  

Thus, I think polytheism is the most cautious and rational theism. 

Stanton v. Sims

Stanton v. Sims, 571 U.S. ____ (2013)

Facts: It was nighttime, and Police Officer was responding to a report of a disturbance involving a man with a bat in a neighborhood known for violence. As Police Officer approached the location, he saw three men walking. When the three men saw the police car, two of them went into an apartment complex that was close by. The Third Man crossed the street in front of the police car and walked or ran toward a residence. Police Officer stopped his car, got out, and shouted, "Police". He ordered the Third Man to stop. The Third Man did not stop, but went through a six foot high wooden gate, which closed behind him. Police Officer could not see into the yard. Police Officer said he feared for his safety and made a 'split-second' decision to kick open the gate. Resident was standing behind the gate, unbeknownst to Police Officer. When the gate swung open, it struck Resident and caused her injuries. 

Procedural History: Resident brought a lawsuit against Police Officer in federal district court, under Section 1983, claiming that Police Officer had searched her property without a warrant in violation of the Fourth Amendment. The district court granted summary judgment to Police Officer because (1) Police Officer was pursuing Third Man, it was a dangerous situation, and Resident had less expectation of privacy in her gated yard; (2) Police Officer had qualified immunity because no clearly established law put him on notice that his conduct was unconstitutional. The Ninth Circuit reversed, holding that Resident had as much expectation of privacy in her gated yard as in her home itself, there as no immediate danger, and Third Man had only committed the minor offense of disobeying a police officer. The Ninth Circuit also held that the law was clearly established that warrantless entry was unjustified where person is only suspected of a misdemeanor, thus Police Officer could not claim qualified immunity. 

Outcome: Reversed and remanded on issue of qualified immunity.

1. The doctrine of qualified immunity protects government officials from civil liability where their conduct does not violate clearly established statutory or constitutional rights of which a reasonable person would have known. It gives breathing room for government officials to make reasonable mistakes and protects all but the 'plainly incompetent'. Existing precedent must have placed the question beyond debate, even if there is no case directly on point. Here, federal and state courts are divided on the question of whether an officer with probable cause in hot pursuit of a suspect of a misdemeanor may enter a home without a warrant.

2. The Ninth Circuit relied on two cases, Welsh v. Wisconsin, 466 U.S. 740 (1984) and United States v. Johnson, 256 F. 3d 895 (2001). In Welsh, the Supreme Court had said the hot pursuit rule did not apply to the facts in that case and that a warrant was usually required where the offense was a misdemeanor. In Johnson, the Ninth Circuit had also said that the facts of that case did not show hot pursuit. The Ninth Circuit said that where the offense is a felony, and where the police are in hot pursuit, a warrant is usually not required, but where the offense is a misdemeanor, and the police are not in hot pursuit, a warrant is almost always required.

3. The Ninth Circuit said that Police Officer in this case was plainly incompetent.

4. The determining factor is hot pursuit, not the seriousness of the crime (i.e., whether the crime is a misdemeanor or a felony). The hot pursuit doctrine applies to the facts of this case: Police Officer saw Third Man enter property and had reason to believe he was 'just beyond the gate'.

5. California courts have said that hot pursuit doctrine is not limited to felonies. District courts in the Ninth Circuit have granted qualified immunity because the law on entry without a warrant in hot pursuit of a misdemeanor suspect is not settled or beyond debate.

6. Therefore, because the law is not clearly established, Police Officer was not "plainly incompetent" and was entitled to qualified immunity.

The opinion is available on the Supreme Court's website, here. 

Arrogance

I re-read my previous post, about my friend's baby's birthday party, and I realized it could be taken as being arrogant.

It's not that. It just makes me happy to make people happy. I can't think of a worthier thing to do in life, aside from alleviating their illnesses, resolving other problems, etc., but I don't work in those fields, and this was in the context of a social event. 

Don't Be Mean

Don't be mean.

General Marcus Furius Camillus and the Temple to Concordia

From Plutarch's Life of Camillus:

This was the last of Camillus's military exploits, though during this campaign he took the city of Velitrae, which yielded to him without a battle. But his greatest political struggle was yet to come, for it was harder to deal with the people now that they were elated with victory. They insisted that the existing constitution should be annulled, and that one of the two consuls should be chosen from among them. They were opposed by the Senate, which would not permit Camillus to lay down his office, as the patricians imagined that with the help of his great power they could more easily defend their privileges. One day, however, as Camillus was sitting publicly doing business in the Forum, a viator or servant sent by the tribunes of the people bade him follow him, and even laid his hand upon him as if to arrest him. At this such a disturbance arose as had never been known before, as Camillus's party endeavoured to push the officer down from the tribunal, while the people clamoured to him to drag the dictator from his seat. Camillus himself, not knowing what to do, would not lay down his office, but called the Senate to meet. Before entering the Senate house, he turned round to the Capitol and prayed that the gods would bring affairs to a happy termination, vowing that when the present disorders were at an end he would build a Temple of Concord. After a violent debate, the Senate agreed to adopt the milder course of yielding to the popular demand, and permitting one of the two consuls to be chosen from the people. When the dictator announced this decision of the Senate to the people, they at once, as was natural, were delighted with the Senate, and escorted Camillus home with applause and shouts. On the next day they met and decreed that the Temple of Concord which Camillus had vowed should be erected on a spot facing the Forum, where these events had taken place; moreover, that the Latin games should continue for four days instead of three, and that all citizens of Rome should at once offer sacrifice and crown themselves with garlands.

 I would like to offer incense to Concordia today for harmonious relations between all people in the world.

Meditations, Book XII, Section XVI

Remember that all is but opinion, and all opinion depends of the mind. Take thine opinion away, and then as a ship that hath stricken in within the arms and mouth of the harbour, a present calm, all things safe and steady, a bay, not capable of any storms and tempests, as the poet hath it. 

Baby's Birthday Party

I was invited to a 100th day birthday party for my friend's baby. I got to hold him for about ten minutes! He was really healthy looking, sooo calm, and sooo cute. I thought for sure he would cry as different people tried holding him. I tried to bounce up and down slightly as I held him to soothe him, but he didn't need it. He just kept smiling!

I met lots of interesting people, too. I got to talk to an engineer who told me all about plastic. I got to talk to a paralegal who told me about the justice system here. I got to try someone's amazing guacamole. I met a pastor from a local English-language church. I feel really lucky.

It was so much fun to meet a lovely new human and have lots of friendly and fun conversations with other people on a Sunday afternoon.  

I didn't talk much. I smiled a lot, asked questions, and listened. I tried to give genuine and sincere appreciation. I let ooze as much friendliness as I could without it being unnatural. I put away my hang-ups and let others be the star. Everyone got to talking shop for a while, but one man's job was different, so I made it a point to have a separate conversation with him as the others were talking shop.  I think I helped make a friendly and fascinating atmosphere for everyone. That makes me happy.  

Being a Good Comforter

There's an article on Slate today that feels true and could help us be better comforters. There's no Stoicism in the article, but there is a Stoicism tie-in at the end of this post.  

The article distinguishes how people with high and low self-esteem respond to two different kinds of comforting: (1) "negative validation", e.g., 'Oh man. That is absolutely the worst.' and (2) 'positive reframing', e.g., 'Cheer up!', or, 'It's not that bad.' 

1. Comfortees with high self-esteem apparently responded well both to positive reframing and to negative validation.

2. Comfortees with low self-esteem apparently responded poorly to positive reframing. The poor response of comfortees to positive reframing made the comforters feel worse about themselves.

3. Comfortees with low self-esteem responded well to negative validation. 

4. Comforters who use positive reframing don't necessarily lack empathy. It's hard for people with high self-esteem always to adopt the correct "mode" toward someone with low self-esteem.

I would add from my own experience that comforters may hesitate to engage in negative validation because it may feel to them to be an endorsement or promotion of the comfortee's negative outlook. But this, counterintuitively, may not be how things work. As I've experienced in Vipissana meditation, the acknowledgement or or nonjudgmental recognition of an emotion reduces its power and strength.

Also, from the comfortee's perspective, the positive reframing probably doesn't spur any thoughts of reframing; they may just focus on the frustration they experience from what seems the comforter's flippant refusal to acknowledge what they're facing. So now they feel frustrated, isolated, and misunderstood, in addition to the primary negative feeling they were experiencing.

I would also say that there may be a time when acknowledgement does shift into endorsement of self-pity, and that this is the point where it might be best to let the comfortee discover that he or she has the ability to take responsibility for his or her feelings, and to choose how to think or feel, despite the circumstances. I use cautious language here because I imagine the timing would vary from hours to years, depending on the person and the gravity of the situation. 

Interview with Dr. Viktor Frankl

Brilliant.

A Complaint-Free World

For a long time now, I've wanted to do Will Bowen's project of not complaining for twenty-one consecutive days. I think this project is pretty famous, but if you aren't familiar with it, the idea is to break the habit of rote complaining by consciously trying not to complain for twenty-one consecutive days. You mark the time by wearing a bracelet on one wrist. If by chance you should complain, you move it to the other wrist and start again. 

I think--and I've heard Will Bowen acknowledge--that complaining does serve some useful functions. To me, these would be things like opportunities for commiseration and opportunities for change (if there's a dead cockroach in your soup, it's okay to ask for a different bowl of soup!)

But the purpose is to eliminate the habit of rote complaining, or senseless negativity without reflection or purpose, or, complaining that is somehow inauthentic or insincere and isn't followed by action to change the thing complained about, and so on. (I don't think I do this much?)

The way to eliminate all this unhelpful complaining is to reach three weeks of not having made any complaints, of any kind. 

I did try this once, without Will Bowen's book. But--this is embarrassing--I would keep forgetting why I was wearing the bracelet I had bought to mark the time. So maybe it's important to have the bracelet that comes with Mr. Bowen's book. I think it has a reminder on it--"complaint free world". 

A complaint-free person is rather beautiful. 

Foreign Adventure

A friend of mine, who's young enough to be my daughter, is having her first foreign adventure. She's doing an internship in another country in Asia.

It's hard not to feel like a proud parent. She's sending me messages via Kakao Talk, about the things she is seeing and doing, and I just feel so excited for her and proud. I know she's going to do great.

Sitting in Starbucks trying not to cry.

Some Ribbons

They give these out quite freely. Still, it's fun to get them. As a person who was very shy well into adulthood, I never imagined that I would end up liking impromptu speaking so much. ("Table Topics" is when you must come to the front of the room during the Toastmasters meeting and are given a topic to speak about at that moment, without knowing in advance what it is or having time mentally to prepare.) 

The Roman Goddess in New York Harbor

It occurred to me today, when thinking about modern representations of Roman gods and goddesses, that there is a very large statue of a Roman goddess in New York harbor. 

I visited her as a child. I'll have to visit her again in the future, when I get home. 

Morning Offering for Christians

I've never done this before. Or maybe I have, and I just don't remember. But, if I have, I haven't done so in a long time. The Stoics said to pray for everyone and to love the people to whom fate has bound you. I agree, and I think "everyone" and "the people to whom fate has bound you" literally means all people on earth. If not, it certainly should. It is plain to see that we all have the same human needs, we all find ourselves in the same human circumstances, and by common descent, we are literally all related to one another.  To offer love to everyone also seems divine. 

This morning I offered incense to Jupiter as a prayer for Christians with whom I have different political opinions. This is not an intercessory prayer asking for help to change other people's minds.

May no harm come to them. May they always be in good health. May they always have spiritual success. May they meet the inevitable hardships of life with courage, resilience, and equanimity. May they always be surrounded by the happy company of family and good friends. May they always have lots of healthful food to eat. May they always have safe and pleasant homes to live in. May they always be successful in all their life endeavours.

Lots of love,

T.  

Come for a Walk With Me

Last Sunday, I hiked across the part of the city that I live in, up and over a small mountain, and down the other side to the shore. I want to show you my pictures!

Going up the mountain, I bumped into this flower. He was so orange and pretty!

Then, further along the way, I encountered a whole meadow full of flowers. 

 Finally, I got down to the water on the other side of the mountain. The rocks were huge and fantastical!

 The whole coastline there is scattered with interesting rock formations:

I had some lemonade at a cafe with a deck. The cafe is on the top floor of a three-story building on a small hill. The view is great!

At the beginning of the walk back home, I discovered these flowers. They're amazing!

And here is a view of the road home. The roads and trails here spoil me! 

I hope you enjoyed our photo trip together and feel refreshed. Until next time! 

Rejoice! II

1. My parents did something really stubborn and positively frustrating. But today, I made up my mind that it's not that important. From the perspective of life and death, it's actually totally trivial. Moreover, like every other human being, I want sympathy and understanding, so I decided that I ought to give sympathy and understanding as well, if that's what I claim to value. I decided to let it go.

2. I went to the bank today to do an international transaction, and the teller did something absolutely frustrating. However, it was nothing that would affect the outcome of the transaction. I decided not to let my emotions snowball in my mind. I thought about how the situation might look from her perspective, and it all seemed a lot more reasonable. I didn't say a word or flash a negative facial expression, and the whole transaction went very smoothly, from start to finish. We smiled at each other and exchanged wishes for a good day as I left. 

3. I made something for some people today that seemed to make them supremely happy. They laughed and smiled for a good thirty minutes.

My good actions are now locked in the past where they can't be stolen or taken away from me.  That makes me so happy. 

Stoicism, Vegetarianism, and the Gods

A description of Musonius Rufus:

Eating of flesh-meat he declared to be brutal, and adapted to savage animals. It is heavier, he said, and hindering thought and intelligence; the vapour arising from it is turbid and darkens the soul, so that they who partake of it abundantly are seen to be slower of apprehension. As man is [at his best] most nearly related to the Gods of all beings on earth, so, also, his food should be most like that of the Gods. They, he said, are content with the steams that rise from earth and waters, and we shall take the food most like to theirs, if we take that which is lightest and purest.

Defusing Verbal Conflicts

A flight attendant's wise formula for defusing verbal conflicts with passengers: (1) Apologize for the person's bad experience. (2) Accommodate where you can, or in some fashion. (3) Ask if there's anything else you can do. (4) Inform higher-ups. (5) Apologize again.

This was from Carlin Comish Laviolet's book, Sky High Careers. I find this book to be full of invaluable life wisdom, applicable to any job, and applicable to many areas of life, outside of employment and work. 

Top Five Overrated Emotions

My top five overrated emotions, not in order. What are yours? Leave a comment.

5. Hope. Sometimes useful and good, but often sets up unrealistic expectations and ends up making people feel bad. Promoted by some forms of popular culture as being always healthy and always virtuous.

4. Resentment. If something bad happened, or if someone did something bad to you, does the situation get better by figuratively banging your head against the wall for months or years? Frequently glorified by popular culture as being the satisfying and cool response to other people's bad actions. 

3. Disillusionment. This could be called, 'false realism'. It's an inevitable overreaction to an inaccurate view of the world; the flip side of the same duality. Better not to have the false view in the first place, and better not to be obsessed with labeling things 'good' and 'bad'. Celebrated in novels and short stories.

2. Honor-pride. I don't know how to name this. It's the kind of pride that's been celebrated in American culture whereby people engage in extreme overreactions to the smallest slight. It's similar to being thin-skinned, but its practitioners think of it as a kind of vigilante enforcement of dignity, a kind of hostile individualism. It pops up in multiple cultural contexts and isn't confined to one class or group. 

1. Anger. The clouder of good judgment. The destroyer of one's self and others. The cause of one bad event after another. A temporary mental illness. Enough said. Sometimes celebrated by popular culture as a healthy form of self-expression. 

Missing Home

A video from UNHCR.

Rejoice!

Yesterday, I went with my friends to dinner. In our group, there were people from Uzbekistan, China, Korea, Japan, France, and--me--from the U.S.A. I bought pens as small gifts to give out to people. There were a lot more people than I expected, so I wasn't able to give a pen to everyone. But, I made five people smile. 

My language exchange friend will go to another country in Asia next week to do an internship, so, unfortunately, unless we can continue by Skype, Friday was probably our last language exchange meeting. During the few months that we did language exchange, I think I gave my friend lots and lots of useful and enjoyable English practice. I also think I made my friend laugh a lot. 

Making people happy is my favorite thing in the world. My good actions are now locked safely in the past where they can't be stolen or undone. That makes me happy. 

Smile

Smile, turn to the nearest person, and try to cheer them up or make them happy. Making the nearest person happy is the meaning of life. 

Rewards

Always work or study without the expectation of a reward. It's inevitable that sometimes there will be no reward or result. Life is filled with examples of people who worked or studied and didn't get the result or reward they were expecting. Knowing this in advance, do you want to let yourself be condemned to live out the same boring pattern? Do you want to let yourself be trapped in the same boring pattern of expectation and disappointment though you can avoid it simply by realizing that life doesn't work like that and changing your thoughts?

Boring hope. Boring sadness. 

The Difference Between the Death Penalty and Fines or Restitution

The comparison might be made that where the state or an individual has incurred a loss, the offender or tortfeasor must either pay a fine or a tort judgement, and fines or restitution aren't regarded as forms of stealing, and that, by analogy, execution similarly therefore is not murder. A counterargument to this might be that with fines and tort judgments, there is an actual transfer of value, to restore somewhat the party that incurred the loss to status quo ante. But with execution, there is no actual transfer of value.  This then is what distinguishes executions from fines and tort judgments.

I am supposed to be doing language immersion. I forgot.

A Life Well Lived

This is an enchanting film about Jim Whittaker, a mountaineer. It's hard not to get swept up in his enthusiasm and love for planet Earth.

Mortality

Perhaps for those of us who aren't terminally ill ourselves, we tend to write off our own (admittedly limited) ability to imagine our mortality and with it, unfortunately, all the instructiveness that might bring to our lives. 

I think we aren't condemned to live out the same unhappy patterns as people who came before us (and in some cases warned us not to). I don't want to wait till I have six months to live to realize that I cared about all the wrong things, spent my whole life under a delusion, and failed to appreciate all the beauty of this world. And then spend the remaining short time in regret and surprise. If it's possible for me to catch a little bit of that feeling of mortality, even as a non-terminally ill person, perhaps I can avoid that fate. 

You might also say this dream of permanence that we all live in from day to day is kind of foolish: After all, the news is often who died and how. With people dying all around us, how does the dream persist so tenaciously and not get dispelled?

This raises another point: If I don't try to live correctly today, in accordance with my mortality, what if I don't even get a final six months in which to do it? There are thousands of non-terminally ill people who are alive right now, around the world, who won't be tomorrow, due to some accident. This is a cliche in the saying; a whole different thing when taken to heart.

Disillusioned

Better than being disillusioned and to be mired forever in a perpetual state of loss, as so often glorified in popular culture, is not to have illusions (high expectations) in the first place, and to be just as happy after you see the man behind the curtain as before.

Don't Slam the Door

In Let it Go, the song from the movie Frozen, the lyrics go, "Turn away and slam the door." There is another part of the song that says, "Conceal don't feel".

I think these are unhelpful. Acting out anger is useless. Better to recognize anger for what it is and either stand back from it, or by recognizing that there's nothing to be angry about, get rid of it. One can acknowledge having anger without being controlled by it. Perfectly? Every time? All throughout one's life? No, but more often than not. And more so with practice. And the progress is completely worth the effort, even if perfection is not possible. 

It's also unhelpful generally, in my view, to conceal feelings. To some extent, yes. If destructive emotions are illusions, there is the danger that bringing them into the world functions as an act of validating them, or somehow makes the illusion larger, or stamps it with imaginary realness. Also, human beings are social, so by not concealing some emotions, one could pass them to another person, like giving them a cold. However, those specific concerns aside, concealing emotions as the main approach to one's emotional life seems wrongheaded. Physical illnesses aren't treated by ignoring their existence and pretending everything is fine. Likewise, destructive emotions probably won't go away by pretending that they aren't there or don't exist. 

Walking Meditation

I had already eaten during a break at work, so after I finished, instead of making dinner, I went for a two-hour walk. While walking, I did Vipissana meditation. 

Standing aside from your thoughts, and looking at them from a quiet distance, and looking out at the world through your eyes, and receiving all the lovely sense impressions of a city at night, without buying into the all the conceptualizing that the mind does instantly and reflexively, is ... peace.

I pray to the gods for your good health and happiness. Good night from Asia.  

Bedtime Prayer

Prayer to Janus, Jupiter and Vesta for my family, my friends, my company, my customers, Korea, North Korea, America, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Russia, Ukraine, and Iraq. 

Farm Work

I went with my friends on Saturday and did some volunteer farm work. It was great. There were kiwi vines wrapped over a giant trellis. Where there were groups of three little kiwis, we had to pluck the smallest one, so the bigger two would grow. It was a little bit unnerving at first, having never done it before and not being sure if we were doing it exactly right. 

It was out in the country, and all around us were sun-lit rice fields. Above is a picture taken from near the kiwi vines, looking out onto a rice field. (They were behind me when I took the photo.)

Die Die Die

I went into the grocery store just now to pick up some groceries after work, for dinner, and a man came up to me whom I had chatted with some time before. 

He's elderly and he said that he retired from his job in Seoul and is now in the construction business here in this city. His plan, he said, is to make as much money as possible, then go to a poor country and use his money to assist with development. Then he said, it would be time to die. He said, "I will die. You will die. Everyone will die. Die die die." 

I said, "Yes, we will all die, so I agree that's a good idea to think about how we are going to spend our time." 

The country he really wants to go to is one of the poorest, but also, he said, one of the most dangerous. So, he listed some other countries that are less poor, but safer. 

That conversation was a great way to end a really good day. Tuesday and Thursday are my busiest days. Today, I put everything outside my control outside my thoughts and worry and just tried to do what was best and possible in each situation as it came up. I'm really happy with the way my work turned out today. 

On Dawdling

Sometimes, when making an effort to accomplish something that requires a lot of time and effort, there's the thought that if I just used the ordinary gaps in my schedule more wisely, I could free up a large amount of time to further the goal. For example, if I chose to do something while riding the bus instead of just sitting there. Or, while waiting for the bus, instead of just standing there. Or, while drinking coffee just after getting up, instead of just listening to music. 

This is partially true. The problem is, though it might seem cost free, in my experience, it isn't. It does draw from resources that you'll need at other times for required tasks. It does make you feel a little less motivated, a little less able to concentrate when you have to do your 'official' work for the day, and so forth. 

My answer to this problem, at one point, was to push myself to enjoy the thing I was doing during those gaps between planned tasks, to convince myself that doing X was a kind of relaxation, so after doing it, I would have actually progressed toward my goal and at the same time got a feeling of being refreshed. It doesn't sound do-able, but it did work, to some degree, for me. I may try it again. 

In the end, we all die, and all the things we construct and accomplish turn to dust. Knowing this, I don't want to invest a lot of emotion or belief into it. Me doing X is just something that's happening temporarily in the world. Both me and it will someday disappear. 

Essential Reading on the Probability of Nuclear War

Unfortunately, it seems that humanity is locked into the occurrence of a nuclear event. The world minus nuclear weapons is the Second World War, which is also unacceptable and the probability of a nuclear event in any given year, though tiny, approaches 100 percent over a unknown number of years (depending on the original values per year, which of course, can never be anything more than estimates).

Perhaps the only answer to this is that if we have nothing to lose, we should work for peace.  

Today I discovered the blog of Martin Hellman, a former electrical engineering professor at Stanford University. He has apparently dedicated several decades to calculating the risk of a nuclear war. His blog makes for important reading. 

Proposition

I was propositioned by a married man last night. He's in a position of authority. 

I told him kindly that I didn't want to be involved in helping one person break their promise to another person. 

It made me feel strange, but also then relieved because I realized:

(1) I don't have to buy into the false choice of either accepting his offer or disliking him.

(2) I don't have to be angry. Firm refusal doesn't require emotions.

(3) I don't have to feel disappointed in the world. I already knew that people did that. 

On Not Being Forgiven

I've linked to this before, but it's such a great essay that it's worth linking to again. I re-read it from time to time.

Someone Cares About You

Public domain image from NASA.

We live in an awe-inspiring place called the universe. 

I offered incense to Vesta that I might be a better safe harbor for other people. 

I also kept the flame for 10 minutes tonight on behalf of the world. When I say "the world", I mean, all people. It was a real honor. If you think that no one cares about you, please know that far away, in the night, someone kept a little flame lit on your behalf. 

I am happy to resume my--admittedly small--monastic practice. 

Prayer to Janus, Jupiter, Minerva, and most of all to Mother Vesta, for my family, my friends, for Russia, for Ukraine, for Germany, for Korea, for America, for all countries, friendly or unfriendly, for all people, friendly or unfriendly, for my friends, and for my coworkers. 

Good night. 

Minerva

The California state seal is a picture of Minerva in the foreground, with symbols of California in the background. The New Jersey flag includes a representation of Ceres. 

There are also apparently temples to Minerva in Guatemala, surviving from the turn of the twentieth century, when Guatemala's then-leader attempted to institute a cult of Minerva.  I would like to find out more about this. Was it an attempt to foster a culture of appreciation toward intellectual achievement? If so, this is neat. 

Problems Aren't the Problem

Reading the news, one can easily feel disappointed. Even in places where things are supposed to be getting better--where the economies are good and unemployment is low--tragedies strike, poor judgments are made, dangerous social trends arise, and so on. And in places where conditions are bad,things sometimes either do not improve  or get considerably worse. It's easy to think, when do we get to that place of no problems? How many more do we have to surmount until we're happy? When is that day coming?

Of course, problems are part of life. Old problems are replaced by new ones in a never-ending succession. The surest way to be disappointed is to imagine that there will be a place and time without problems. Happiness isn't to be found in unrealistic hopes. It's to be found in choosing to be happy in spite of the ever-presence of problems, and in not letting problems cause you to act unvirtuously.

Bedtime Prayer

Prayer this Tuesday evening to Janus, Jupiter, and most of all to Vesta for all the countries in the world, whether friendly or unfriendly, all people in the world, whether friendly or unfriendly, my company, my boss, my coworkers, my customers, my friends, and myself. 

The quality of this blog has declined in that lately I haven't progressed in studying Roman Religion and Stoicism and their application to my life. I've just been really busy. I will continue as time permits. In meantime, just prayers.

I had a very happy, enthusiastic day because I didn't worry about things beyond my control. By this, I don't mean that I put things outside of my compassion. I just put them outside of my worry. I expect, being human, that in the future, I will sometimes be able to do this again, and sometimes not, but hopefully, with practice, more so than not. 

Morning Offering

Morning offering and morning prayers said. Now it's off to language exchange. I hope everyone has a great start to the new week.

Bedtime Prayer

Prayer to the gods for Korea, America, all the countries in the world, my coworkers, my boss, my customers, my friends, my family, and myself.

Good night from Asia.

*          *          *          *

I will restart my monastic practice of keeping the flame soon. I miss doing it very much! It feels like I'm supposed to be doing it. When I'm not doing it, something feels wrong.  

My Specialty

My parents asked me when I was a teen-ager, what do you want to be? I said, more than anything else, I like helping people and making them happy. I want to be a nurse. I certainly wasn't concerned then about being right.

I started political activism, but not till twenty-three years after I became an adult. I don't think twenty-three years shows that I'm quick to anger. 

I still feel that helping people and making them happy is my purpose in life. I feel that it's my inner nature. More than anything else, I don't want to lose this, no matter how other people act or what they say. 

A Reason to Be in Love with Life: The Beauty of Urban Nightscapes

I got back to my own city so late, the bus had stopped running, and I had to take a taxi across town to where I live.

I can't tell you how beautiful that taxi ride was. We glided through a glittery nightscape. It was like we were floating. There was wind through the window. I told the taxi driver how beautiful it was. Tonight I am in love with life.

Enough Tears

There's a lot to be sad about. I spent three decades in depression because I handled external circumstances beyond my control poorly. It wasn't irrational. I saw and see a side of human nature that most people don't know about. People believe in themselves, each other, their families, and ideas which are  actually no more than chimeras or facsimiles.

But, enough tears. I understand their appeal, but I'm tired of sadness, misery, and pity.

Before the Gods on Your Behalf: A Roman Soldier's Letter Home

This is an article from March of this year. It's about a Roman soldier's letter home. It's touching. The article calls it a 'guilt-trip letter', which is funny. Of course, in reality, that may or not have been the case. 

I am off to Toastmaster's this morning. I got two ribbons there for impromptu speaking. One was plainly charity. The other one, perhaps not. 

I pray to the gods on your behalf, 

Bedtime Prayer

Prayer to the gods that everyone has a spiritual safe harbor and does not go through life as a wandering ghost.

Prayer for the World

Prayer to the gods for the whole world.

Good night from Asia.

Lots of love,
Tuccia

How to Handle a False Accusation

These are my thoughts on handling false accusations. I don't know if they're good or not. The title of the post may sound overconfident, but these are mainly intended as notes to myself. By 'handle', I mean how to handle it emotionally. 

I recently experienced a false accusation. A relatively minor one. Someone thought I was staring at them, and this was taken to mean something about my character. 

This got me thinking. 

Of course, if the accusation is not false and you actually did it, you must apologize and make amends, if possible to do so without causing further harm.

(1) The accusation may be false but sincerely believed. Trying to remember how views arise may allay your anxiety. Most interface with the world consists of using substitutes for direct observation. A state of mind in another person, for example, is inferred from an expression, a tone of voice, or circumstances we know him or her to be experiencing. Substitutes for direct observation are by nature imperfect. They are also commonly relied on for navigating a world with limited resources and time. Thus, while the complaint that a certain judgement required more circumspection than was employed may have some merit, asking for a world in which no one ever employs substitutes for direct observation is to ask for a world that can't exist. Perhaps most importantly, when you pay attention to your own inner train of thought, you will find that you do it too, and yet, when your judgments turn out to have been inaccurate, you will jump to your feet to defend yourself, like a defense attorney in a Hollywood movie, the hero for exonerating his client. 

(2) The reliability of substitutes for direct observation are refined through the accumulation of experience. As you go along through life, some are acquired; some are discarded; and those that have been acquired are made more specific. But here's the crucial point: by nature each human, even if she lived to be 900 years old, can only experience a limited portion of reality. No human can or has ever made a decision with the benefit of omniscience. When you are falsely accused, remember that every decision you have ever made or will ever make is will also be done so without the benefit of omniscience. 

(3) It is true that cultures make up for the limited experience short human lifespans can acquire by passing down wisdom from one generation to the next, but this has its own shortcomings: (a) Its antiquity can bestow an artificial sense of authority to a judgment that goes unquestioned by the culture's modern members. (b) It can be misperceived as universal by those members of the culture who have never lived outside of the culture. (c) Learning by reading or hearing is often difficult to apply in comparison to learning by experience. Learning by reading or hearing often resides in a state of abstraction in one's mind, until a lived experience makes it concrete.

(4) This might be the most important one: If falsely accused, under all circumstances, maintain your obligations to those around you. You have a duty to be virtuous, even to the person who has falsely accused you. Anything else may aggravate the problem or create new problems altogether. 

Your Last Act

Marcus says, "Execute every act as if it were thy last." 

We simply don't know the date of our departure from this life. For some of us, it could very well be today. For example, there could be a bus accident that takes my life as I go to language exchange this morning. 

How then, to respond, and how would one conduct one's last acts? I would say, with highest of motives and the noblest of intentions. Because there would a clarity in that final moment that one wealthy in years and time forever has trouble appreciating.

In other words, with compassion, with forgiveness, and with love, toward all brothers and sisters of humanity, be they friends or enemies, allies or one or another variety of tormentors.

This morning, I can feel life's impermanence, and it makes me feel free. 

Prayer for North Koreans

Prayer to Vesta on this day in late spring 2014, that in North Korea everyone has enough calories and that kitchens and homes in North Korea overflow with delicious food and cheerful laughter. 

Nostalgia

I'd like my blog to be characterized by restraint, but this is also my personal journal.

When I have nostalgia, it is almost always not for what was, but more for what might have been--but wasn't--for being just out of reach.

One recurring daydream of mine as a teen-ager involved working or going to university in Europe and the altogether different life I thought I would have there. Perhaps this is an eye-roller for most people (not for anything bad about Europe, but for being too romantic). But still, it was a dream of mine, and I don't look down on it from the vantage point of early middle age. I like myself for having wanted this. 

In my daydream, I would somehow have a neater, tidier and more fashionable style of clothing. I would learn to comport myself in a less clumsy way. I would speak another language well. I would go to discotheques. I would have a boyfriend there. We'd find ourselves in alleys in Marseilles, the Gare de Lyon, a moonlit section of pastoral countryside, a Milan or Berlin nightclub. All those famous places, all those famous atmospheres. We would have sweet secrets we'd never share till death. I'd eat cheese that wasn't cheddar.

Later, I did go to France, and I did study there, at least for four months. I wasn't able to have those other experiences, however, for a reason that I don't wish to share even on this blog. 

You're entitled to spend your life in a location. That's it, and no more. You aren't entitled to spend your life in the location of your choice, or the location you find most desirable. Perhaps more importantly, there-versus-here is to some degree often a false choice created by misapprehension, as romanticism usually can't withstand familiarity. Therefore, life is what you make it, wherever you are, which means that in order to have a happy life--to tweak the words of Marcus Aurelius--you must love the location to which fate binds you, but do so with all your heart.